Extract from my Journal; Dialogue between the three Tribes

May 18, 2008

Extract from my Journal; Dialogue between the three Tribes


Perception is king when it comes to life, what is achieved, and how far success is attained.
Everyone, who looks at the world, tends to perceive differently
A small percentage sees opportunities more than Observe trouble.
Some wait and see where life takes them while others distract themselves with the happenings in the lives of others.
To create happy success one has to choose to filter information and perceive what can aid them to destination good life.
The world is full of perception of three kinds; the haves, the have not
And the averages. Don’t get it twisted wealth is more than just money and money is not happiness, but its plays a huge role.

On the District line traveling from Upton Park to Ealing Broadway, the following conversation took place between these three, each representing their own tribe. And by the way, I was not preying into other people’s conversation; it all took place in my head, while waiting for the overly delayed district line to take me to my home at Chiswick Park.

I hate when the freaking Beckham’s splash their wealth around said the average, David is changing latest cars like its running out of fashion, I mean does he even care about global warming? Posh on the other hand encourages this wasteful expensive lifestyle, first she never repeats any pair of shoes, the money that woman spends on handbags can build orphanages across Haiti and poor South American countries.
This bloody people are just vain and do not care that, there are people in this country who will never know what it feels like to not have Barclaycard chasing them each month for payment. I have run out of my six months interest free credit with all lenders in the UK.
I am just happy with having enough money to pay my bills, travel, feed, and shop, go to the pub every other weekend and give five pounds a month to my favorite charity. My goodness, why will such terrible people have so much luck with money?

A young man engrossed in his reading chipped in saying, I do not mean to interrupt you Sir, but is your hatred for the Beckhams because they are rich or because you think they do not deserve it. Said the have

I do not hate anyone said the average, I am curious as to why people like that have good luck with money, I mean this south London boy has too much money than he knows what to do with. With your suit looking like that you will not understand, after all I saw you join this train from embankment which suggests to me that you work in one of those blue chip company at either embankment, the city, or canary wharf. So what do you do?

Replied the have, I do not believe in luck and I am a senior financial analyst for a company called Goldman Sachs. Basically, I advise companies and very wealthy individuals on what investment poll will double if possible triple their capital. Put simply, I make the wealthy guys money.

And how much do you earn yourself? The average asked

I earn enough to get by, or let’s just say I earn enough for the value I bring to my daily work activities, although I won’t mind a pay raise anytime soon. Said the Have

What arrogance is this kid displaying; I mean he has enough egos for ten men, how can anyone be this proud. Wait till life clips your wings, then you will know that some people are born lucky and if you don’t stop all this obsession with wealth, your luck will soon depart from you. (He said in his heart) Then he voiced out, as for me I am just happy serving my God and going to heaven, after all, the bible says blessed are the poor. How old are you young man?

You rich people are all the same the average mumbles, never satisfied.

I will be twenty seven in September he said. But Sir, with all due respect, I believe that if you want to be rich, or at least live the kind of life you secretly admire, education is paramount. By education I mean asides a university degree, educating your self about money and how it is made, studying the lives and habits of those who have it. These days all these information is only a click away or in books laying around on shelves in bookstores like Water stones, you can go in there and read their books for free in your spare time. About your bible quotes, I believe people tend to misunderstand the bible and make God look bad, poor, and mean. I know God differently.

It’s amazing that at your age you are rich. So where is your Bentley? and why are you on public transport struggling space with us common folks? The average asked.

Trust me; I am still on my way to my destination wealth. Sir, Sometime I feel too tired to drive and every once in awhile I like commuting on public transport, asides the fact that I enjoy it and it’s easier to get to work, the train and bus is my first car. After all, Tony Blair took the train on the day of his grand exist from Downing Street.
Most importantly Public transport is also a means of cutting cost; congestion charges and fuel. Sometimes I go way pass my budget and I have to make up for it in other ways like this.

You are a rich possibly single young man, and with a monthly salary most people don’t earn in ten months and fat annual bonuses, what business do you have with cutting of cost? Asked the have not

Just because I have money to spend does not mean I should not spend wisely. I have a lot of financial responsibilities; several shares and investments here and there, pension funds, charity donations, personal savings, compassionate saving; which I use to help people around me who are financially challenged and saving to start my own media printing business which is going to be huge. And my luxury savings; for world exploring travels, adventure, and social life, I work and play hard.


Furthermore, most rich people are not big spenders said the have; they shop for needs and not wants, quality not quantity, most importantly they live on a budget. By the way I got that from this book (he shows them the book) the latest Donald trump’s book I am reading at the moment.

Sirs, money has laws, to get money you have to understand its principles, it is a coward, and it is less likely to go to those who do not understand it, and cannot take care of it. When well taken care of, money appreciates in value with time. I often compare money to a good woman who knows what she wants.

Contrary to popular believe, wealthy people give, as much as you will want to disprove this if you don’t give, wealth will not be attracted to you. Sir I am a Christian too and I want to be super wealthy, I don’t know about you, but I can praise God better when I am able to pay all my bills and still have monies left to enjoy life.

My stop is next Sirs in conclusion; everything is dependant on how we view the world and what is perceived everyone maybe look at the same object but we all see different things. Perception is streamlined by personal beliefs and understanding thus, making education relevant in how we perceive. Educate and nourish your perception of wealth and wealthy people. Have a great rest of your day Sirs.


I observed a lot of characteristics that separates these three tribes.

Time: Tribe have, tends to place a high value on their time thus, engage in productive past times in their spare time. Time spent in commuting can be use to read a book, or listen to audio books for self improvement. Time is the single must precious factor, its waits for no-one; it is actually the only thing that everyone has an equal.

Respectful: A good percentage of tribe have, are respectful and know how to handle people who may come across as rude. Psychologist call this emotional intelligence; being aware of people and deciding on how to handle their excesses.

Responsible: They are aware that it is their responsibility to make their own lives what they want it to be. They are not dependant on society or other people they take the blame for their own mess. There is a really simple secret to overcoming seeing others as obstacles in your life and that’s realizing that everything you do or do not do is your responsibility.

Education: Tribe have, place a high value on continual education. They understand that which separates them from other tribes is knowledge so they invest a great deal in both formal and informal education and self improvement.

Budget: This is one of the main characteristic of tribe have. It is the only way for anyone who is or plans to be wealthy. To create and keep wealth, one cannot afford not to have and religiously follow a budget. Ok I read this in Donald Trump’s latest book.

Quality Shopping: For tribe have, shopping means quality more than quantity, that’s not to say they do not love a good bargain or await those annual Debenham and Harrods sales. Tribe have, will rather buy one good pair of jean and wear it for three years than buy cheap quality which will wear out after its third visit to the washing machine. Also they are not constantly shopping for the latest trend even though they can afford to, they employ wisdom in their spending habits because they understand that the reason 10% of the world enjoys 90% of the world’s wealth is that the first are creators, while the latter are consumers. The have not and the average are compulsive consumers, while the haves are the creators of the goods and services.
I still wonder why one individual feels the need to have an iPhone, newest digital camera, a cam-coder, latest Nokia, an Ipod and a blackberry phone, when all these gadgets have similar functions.
They need to pause and think how apple still manages to gross profits in billions despite the current global economic state.

Giving and Saving: The haves give wisely and save. They have specific savings for specific purposes. A good percentage of them genuinely want to make a difference in people’s life. Money will leave where it is not well taken care of. Trust me this is how the likes of Mike Tyson went bankrupt.

Are positive and expectant: Tribe haves are positive vibrant and always expectant of goodness. They are fast to learn from mistakes there is no room for self pity in clan haves. They are aware of their weakness and strength and constantly seeking ways to channel their strength on weakness.

Discipline: My definition for this word is simply being willing to do what is required even if you don’t feel up to it. Tribe haves thrive on this ten letter word. According to the laws of Rebecca, the most important factor for measuring a person who is successful or going to be is seen in their level of discipline.

Commitment: Without commitment there is hesitancy to withdraw. This is a relative of discipline that is equally relevant to what is achieved and how.

Planning: A plan is merely an arrangement on how to achieve desired goals. Bearing in mind that you cannot afford to be married to your plan, if it’s not working change it. For example, if you want to drive from west to central London, you can pass through short cuts or a straight route depending on what you hope to achieve and how. If there is too much traffic going through one way change to another way, as long as you get to central London and on time.
In course of achieving anything great I find planning is indispensable, but I also find that plans are utterly worthless when it is not applied in perspective. Tribe haves are aware that plans must be flexible.


Want more and Think Creatively Big: To the haves, thinking big is a part of their existence; they understand the power of creative thought pattern. Psychologists believe that the mind has two sides to thought processing; the thinker and the prover, the thinker initiates the thought and the prover goes to work to prove that which is constantly brooded upon. To the haves there is always new grounds to break, and it is not an indication that they are not satisfied, it just shows they are progressive and forward looking. It is in their DNA. I am sure there are things Bill Gates still hopes to accomplish.

Choice: For all three tribes happiness is a choice. It all depends on what makes you happy, being ok with your choices good or bad, wallowing in regret and self pity or being content with such things as you have.

Purpose: Lastly Tribe haves, live for something greater than themselves. People who lead meaningful lives don’t find that meaning in possession or position; they find it in carrying out personal commitment to ideals bigger than themselves and their own needs.





19/05/2008
Rebecca.

Creating with Passion

“There is only one success; to be able to spend your life in your own way”Christopher Morley, where the Blues Begin

Have you ever had a thought that begins with something like, why isn’t there a store for ……….. , a service that caters to………….. , or the likes? If a need occurs to you, chances are others are experiencing it. Voids that you perceive in the consumer landscape may be the seed of an idea for business.

The secret is out. Anyone who has a passion, a brain and uses it has what it takes to start and build their own business empire. Attributes like creativity, resourcefulness, courage, persistence, an instinct for what people what, optimism and the ability to work long and hard and learn from mistakes seems to be all that is required of any budding entrepreneur. Just because you do not think you possess all these traits does not mean you shouldn’t start your own business. It may mean you will need to find a way around your weaknesses; perhaps set goals to work on them.


The important thing is being intone with your passion, recognising your strengths and weaknesses so you can develop strategies to either capitalise on or overcome them.When one can combine a passion with an ability to see and seize an opportunity where others might not, coupled with a desire to running your own show, impossibility truly becomes nothing. There are only two questions you have to ask yourself, the first one is, what am I passionate about? The second is what stops me from developing this passion? If what is lacking is information go get it, Michael Neil once said, the answer to all your questions lays on the internet, development books and biographies. Yes indeed, there is nothing new under the sun.

When I say passion, I do not mean what you think you can have; I mean what you really want, that thing which gives you butterflies just thinking about it, that thing which you would rather be doing than your nine to five or whatever you do. I mean that which whenever you think about brings that aliveness inside. The point is, it is easier to get what you want than what you think you can have. What are you passionate about?

Creating a successful business empire all sterns from passion itself, if there is something that you are passionate about there is a reason for that, in the context of following your inspiration, if it is really inspiring to you, something great will come out of it. In the real world this will work, just ask yourself what will I want to be doing today?We all have a little bit of the entrepreneur in us, but some people show this even early in their childhood, going beyond the usual lemonade stands and girl Scout cookie sales.

Here is a story of Janine Hilly a thirty –five year old successful business owner, who has built her business empire around her passion. From a very early age Janine loved creating things sewing with pieces of clothe, Janine would make pillow cases and sew designs on them at age twelve, she went to university studied medicine to make her parents happy, but her passion was still a huge driving force in her life, she made and designed pillow cases for friends and families on special occasions until, one day she finally decided to live her life the inspiring way, waking each day to do what she loved doing.
Today she is one of the most sort after interior design in New York, her client list includes ex US President Clinton, Oprah Winfrey, President Obama, to name a few.

Chances are that if there is something you genuinely enjoy offering, there are people out there who would love to receive it. The trick is finding those people. That in a nutshell, is marketing, more on that next time.

Heart Song

A heart's song does not have to be a song, or a peomits could just be a thought, feelings, or even writing about Love,world peace, or whatever your heart is singing.My heart songs is never a clarified piece nor does it make sense to othersbut it is just the songs in my heart this morning.

The journey of self-recovery is always long distance for everyone, In my case, there are just somethings i fail to recogniseEveryone is not like me, as sensitive or even as loyal,will stick up for me, respect others feelings, aware of others feelings go out of their way to please others, lie for others and even raise to their defense.

How do I deal, relate, befriend such folks? Oh I want to be more like others, but I feel this will be loosing my true self just to protect myself and prove a point. I am still processing what my actions should be about this heart songs, untill then my heart is still singing.

Letter to my President

United State Most Celebrated President, President Barack Obama reads ten letters and emails from the general public daily, now that's really interesting. I wonder if he will get asked questions outside the scopes of the american economy,War and so forth.

If your President or Prime Minister could find time to read the public's letter what will you write about? My God i can think of a trillion things already.Lets all draft letters to our own President/ Prime minister on Facebook and share them with friendsHappy writing


Dear Mr President, How are you, and how is your health? i am hoping you are in much better health than i last read because our country needs you. I will continue to keep you in my prayers along side our own Lagos state governor Fashola ( man of the people by the people)

Sir i will like to voice my concern about the where about of this great country of our. Do we have a direction? what does the future hold for the youth and our unborn generation? When is our economy going to take a large growth leap as it is yet to do so since the days of yakubu Gowon. I will like to make just seven request from your tenure in Aso Rock.

Sir, electricity is top of my request as it is a vital necessity of any prosperous economy, this needs to be sorted out and fast i am sure even you Sir is aware of this. See my frustration really is the fact that we can afford to attain this long anticipated victory over black outs in this country but instead choose not to, i am not by any means implying that you are lazy or being controlled by political godfathers who needs the country to remain the same because of the benefits to them, but what i am saying in essence Sir, is that Nigeria in darkness is by choice of its leaders.

Furthermore, our educational and health system could do with much needed help, as these factor plays a huge part as to whether or not Nigeria will achieve her 2020 vision. Sir if you could do anything out of the whole letter let it be this one, we are tired of our parents sending us to school abroad with the funds they could have kept for their retirement.

We need laws that protect our children. Children are abused every single day and no one does anything about it, Mr President, it is fundamental for all government to protect its citizens, but since in our own case this is too much to ask can we at least protect these young ones who cannot protect themselves? i recently read in the weekly punch of how two little girls at Bariga in Lagos state were raped and the police knew the suspects but nothing was done about it, i mean this is insane. How do we expect children who have had life beaten out of them to grow up and give something back to its community? why should any child in this country go to bed on an empty stomach? How can a parent beat their children to death claiming they are witches and no one is punished, why should one Hellen Ukpabio encourage this kind of behaviour and goes unpunished. If really our intention is moving this country forward this religious freak needs to be punished for all her deeds.

Fourthly, we need laws that encourage/ make banks lend money to young people and encourage aspiring business people as they are the back bones of growing economy ( business owners)

Furthermore, can we all be enlighten about what the government from the incision of democracy has done with the recovered looted funds found in one of many banks, Swiss bank to be precise i mean 700 million dollars is a lot of money. I believe all Nigerians will be interested in this.

Can all committees set up by ex- president Obasanjo be resolved as they are all confused just as their Oga was and still is. Any president who had the audacity to sell NEPA to his good friend even though he claims public enemy is confused, to make matters even worse he had the guts to want to educate Nigerians abroad about the economy.

Lastly Mr President you need to come on tour to Lagos state you will be inspired as to what Fashola has done and still doing, who knows governor Fashola could very well be a source of inspiration you know like a Muse.Thank you for reading my letter and i look forward to writing you many more letters.

Kind Regards
Rebeca

All things Favourite

Favourite fashion item
My goodness i love shoes, shoes and more shoes

Faavourite Movies
Something new, Last king of scotland, the story of us, Riding in car with boys, Maxcolm X, Sound of music, Games women play, Games men play, Girls cot, Uyai, Reloaded, letters to a stranger,etc.

Favourite shops
I like specific shops for specific things.Jean :Gap, Tops: zara, gap,debenham, asos.com . Shoes: asos.com and vivaladiva.com shirts: T.M.Lewin, Bags: Barrat, topshop, asos.com. Sunglasses and accessories: asos.com. Underwear: asos.com, victoriasecret.com, babyphat.com, debenham etc. I love internet shopping but if i have to go to the shop i will. I am yet to find a shop in Lagos i like, suggestions anyone?
My Favourite Heros

Oprah Winfrey, Elie Gisel, Mandiba Nelson Mandela, Winston churchhill, Wole Soyinka, Sigmund Fued, Jean Piaget and Barack Obama.

Favourite celebrity crushs
I have many but, Theirry Henry, Simon Baker and Majid.

Favourite Fashion Icons
Sienna Miller, Sanna Lathan, Victoria Beckham, Genevieve Nnaji, Rita Dominic.

If you could be stuck in an island with anyone of you Favourite people who will you want it to be and why?
Need I think about this, easy Mandela. I just want to be around him because he represents for me Hope, passion, and Love.

If you could be anyone of your favourite people for a day, who will it be and why?
Oprah Winfrey, I want to feel what it is like to be the most powerful woman in the world, count her trillions, take a bath in her luxury bathrooms, fly her private jet, rescue abused children, and OMG wear her lovely collection of shoes.... what could be better than this?

Five Favourite leisure activities
Reading, Blogging, listening to music, good movies and some more reading.

Favourite outfit
I can do no wrong with my gap jeans and t-shirt, nice heels as long as the hair is right.

Favourite Quote
When a man is down to nothing God is up to something.

Favourite Food
I love indomie instant noodles, beans and plantain.

Favourite books
Bible, Authentic power, power of simple prayers, purpose driven life, the naked trader and sticking out your neck.

Favourite Hang out sports
The lounge at palms, planet one bar. suggestions anyone?

Favourite people to hangout with?
who else my only sister and cousin, we have fun together so much fun.

Favourite Feature in a man
Smile, height, and teeth.

Favourite Presidents
Obarack Obama, Jimmy carter, Mandela and funny enough Idi Amin dada of uganda....... before you crucify me I just find the man interesting, I cannot help it i am a psychologist with a weird sense of everything.

Favourite Advise ever recieved
Never will I forget what one of my lecturers at Oxford said to me in 2007 he said, in life never strife on becoming rich, strife to be a better person because with what you are you will become.

Favourite items owned
My laptop, digital camera and mobile fone.Favourite time of the dayofcourse nights, i can think better.

Favourite football team
Gunner for life

Favourite sports
football and tennis.

Favourite cities
London, Paris, Cardiff, Oxford, Geneva, Lagos.

Favourite shoes
its my black number, by pierre et terra love it.

Favourite phone brand
Nokia please

When all is Said and Done

In regards to dating rules and regulation i am very modern. I am part of the new generation and i believe it is ok for a woman to ask a man out however, a woman has to proceed with caution always. Dropping a few pointers will not hurt, but were can a sister draw the line?These days some women just take this rule to the very extreme and it is sad because while doing so, humilate themselves and further encourage anti-socialite men thinking any woman who is being friendly is out to chase them. As if, if a smart woman wanted a man she couldn't get him before he said Jack Robinson..................... and all the sisters say amen.

Before writing any further i must stress here, i am no feminist activist or woman's right whatever, i just think some of our actions as women permit men to treat us with such disrespect and then we wonder why....... ladies, Girls.......... if you see a man you like, walk up and say hi, if he response good for you, keep the conversation flowing, kind of be in control and remember you are the one who wants his number without asking. At this point all roads leads to how to get him to ask for a date or something without seeming desperate.

If he calls luck you, if he doesnt stop making excuses for him, assuming he is busy with work, if a man wants you he will make time. so when all is said and done take your cues and never disturb a man or try to convince him why he should date you just have Fun.Irrespective of what the popular saying is, there are more than enough men for all of us. You just have to know how to swim in the dating pool.....

Rebecca

BELSIZE PARK

Pains is good sometimes, its magnitude bitter
Its brings along close relatives fear and anxiety
Such was the experience of the northern park
From the unset, Belsize park was promising
This park blossomed with hopes and aspirations
Its uttered words that livens living soul
If black could be made white with words
Belsize would make history.

Belsize how I loved it, possibly still do
But like it is said love is never enough
Whoever spoke these words must
Have been aware of Belsize Park
And it’s unstably nature, till this day
Its intentions remain a mystery

Belsize had a special spark about it
It was the perfect park to unwind
Like the sun that shines in spring time
Belsize was more so beautiful
But fear which came after the experience
Was unbearable, fear griped me
Each time I approached this northern park
I kept passing through Belsize to over my fears
In the end, belsize was conquered

Every child is yours

Every child is your child; treat them with respect, love and care
Pay attention to their needs, don’t ignore their public display
Of foolishness correct them, lead an exemplary life.

It may seem like their owners business to you
But if we don’t contribute to our future generation
These same ones will rob our banks, break street lights
And hold our children at gun point, then they will become
Our concern.

Every child is my child; I will treat them as such.

LOVE HER

Her passion misused, her habits killing her slowly, she’s losing a fight for another day,
The life that she has known is falling apart, a motherless home, a child’s broken heart
You are holding her hands straying for words, you trying to make sense of it all
She is desperate for hope, darkness clouding her view she’s looking to you
Just love her like Jesus, carry her to him, his yoke is easy his burden is light
You don’t need the answer to all of life’s questions
Just know that he loves her stay by her side

Her heart is already faint waiting for a little blessing from heaven
Will be there soon, hope fades in the night, blue skies turns red
You are looking at the hopeless, trying to explain their pains
Although she spoke no words, everything she said is heard
Just embrace this hopeless one; you don’t need to know the answer to
All of lives question, just know that they need your love
And love them like Jesus.

INCISIVE QUESTION

Opinions are sanctuary, where truth and reality lives,
When opinion differs, can conventional truths be managed?
Can open mindedness smear personal values?
In a world of revolution, neutral opinions, overly freedom of
Speech and thoughts, opinions is easily framed by society
Maybe it’s just me but most times my truths is in
Opposition with So called conventional opinions

Am I really the master of my own ability?
Can I create my world, with thoughts?
Is conventional wisdom definite, I am disillusioned
Relying on my abilities? And actions
Does lucky have a part to play?
Is patience and kindness learned?
Can Love be unconditional, really?

The one who said I rather be lucky than good
Was he reasonably, what does goodness bring?
Does everyone have ulterior motives?
Is why more vital than what?
Are we all naturally selfish?
Will nature always over-ride nurture?
Yes or no to my incisive questions
It’s all about choice.

EQUALITY

“The fact of being equal in rights, Status, advantage, social and opportunity
This is oxford dictionary’s definition of this wonderful term.
Its sounds right, acceptable and intelligent, but is this in any way attainable
Its seems nearly absurd to internalised this theory,
In my opinion equality is impossible

As long as knowledge and understand exist equality is a mirage
If our thoughts patterns differ, and our mental capacity not the same
We can never all be equal, even if God/ government did everything
some people will still not measure up to the advantage

A man once said never believe all everyone want is a good future,
For our wants is in our daily activities, and thoughts
For what separates one man from another is what is known
Versus what ignorance is achieving in such man.
I believe in opportunities to some extent, however, can we really all
Be equal? Given the same opportunities in live can this be achievable

human race sometimes think, if only I was from a different race
Or social background things will be different.
Will it.......................... Really?
Call me old fashion but, I believe gender equality is all bull....... and
You can add the rest
The mare fact that men differ from women defiles the concept of gender equality,
It’s impossible; there are things women do better than men,
There are task that only a man can do better
I am no tom-boy but I very much prefer a man as my president
Oooppppps this is a topic for another day.

Responsibility

This is a much dreaded topic even i used to dread it, but i am getting there.
External factors in most cases affects our outcome as humans, but it should by no means be an excuse for dependency or irresponsibility. some depend on God, other people, society, the government etc.note this; no one else will be responsible for your own outcome its doesn't matter what happened to you.

The whole world operates by natural and spiritual laws, whomever works these principles will see its result, its makes no difference whether or not you believe in the supreme. God is not going to fill out job application forms for you, if you prayed all month instead of studying for your exams God is not going to send you the answers from heaven, believe it or not he is not a magician.

No company will pay you close to enough to make you rich, please believe me when i say/ write companies are never designed to make anyone rich. The government will not create laws that protects us equally, never. children at tender ages are supposedly government property, when they don't become much they are referred to as your children.Train your own children state policies won't.

I don't care whether you are in ancient day, or come from an African village with brutality in operation as government, you can take responsibility and direct your own path in the way you want; by no means am i belittling opportunities, but i will not glorify learned helplessness. if what is lacking is opportunity create your own opportunity. if you do not take responsibility for your life someone or something else will.

Grace

Grace comes free of charge to people who do not deserve it and I am one of those people. I think back to not too long ago to who I was-resentful, wound tight with anger, a single hardened link in a long chain of ungrace learned from family and church. Now I am trying in my own small way to pipe the tune of grace. I do so because I know, more surely than I know anything that any pang of healing or forgiveness or goodness I have ever felt comes solely from the grace of God. I long for the church of Christ to become a nourishing culture of that Grace. I sometime let my mind wander and imagine a world without any forgiveness. What would happen if every child bore grudges against his or her parent, and every family passed down feuds to future generations? I let my imagination run further, to a world in which every former colony harbours grudges against its former imperial power, and every race hates every race, and every tribe battles its rivals all if all of history’s grievance amass behind every contact of nation, race and tribe. I get depressed when I imagine such a scene because its seems so close to history as it now exist. As a Jewish philosopher Hannah Arendt said, the only remedy for inevitability of history is forgiveness; otherwise, we remain trapped in the predicament of irreversibility. Not to forgive imprisons me in the past and locks out all potential for change. I thus yield control to another, my enemy and doom myself to suffer the consequence of the wrong.
We forgive not merely to fulfil some higher law of morality; we do it for ourselves. As Lewis Smedes points out “the first and often the only person to be healed by forgiveness is the person who does the forgiving. When we genuinely forgive we set a prisoner free and then discover that the prisoner we set free was us. More often than that not forgiveness is directly connected with grace, if one does not have grace it is impossible to separated the wrong from the doer. A friend of mine questions whether forgiveness of those who have not repented makes sense. This man daily sees the result of evil from child abuse, drugs, violence and prostitution “if I know something is wrong and forgive without addressing the wrong what am I doing? He asks “I am potentially enabling rather than freeing”. My opinion is that Justice has a good, righteous and rational kind of power. The power of grace is different: unworldly, transforming, supernatural. Grace is unmerited, undeserved favour that roll away burden of guilt. The New Testament shows a resurrected Jesus leading peter by the hand through a three-fold ritual of forgiveness, after all he did Jesus knew peter didn’t need to go through life as the one who betrayed the son of God. Forgiveness breaks the cycle of blame and loosens the stranglehold of guilt, its accomplishes these two things through a remarkable linkage placing the forgiver on the same side as the party who did the wrong. Does grace apply to a helpless child who was abused? Is the message of grace relevant to man who was wrongly imprisoned twenty years for a crime he didn’t commit? It must be, or black South Africa, Yugoslavia will have no hope of living together. As so many abused children learn, without forgiveness we cannot free ourselves from the grip of the past, this same principle applies to all circumstance and it can only be done if you see like God sees, God loves us regardless of ourselves, nothing you do can separate us from his love, I have come to this one understanding that when we sin, we hurt ourselves but God in his infinite grace is always ever willing to forgive us.
There is one catch to grace that I must mention in the words of C.S.Lewis, “God gives where he finds empty hands”. A man whose hands are full of parcels can’t receive a gift; grace in other words must be received. Lewis explains that grace abusers stems from confusion of condoning and forgiving, to condone evil is simply to ignore it, to treat it as if it is good. But forgiveness needs to be accepted as well as offered if it is to be complete; and a person who admits no guilt can accept no forgiveness. There are two types of guilty people; the ones who acknowledge their wrong and the ones who expect the offended to understand their point of view. These two groups of people are converging in a scene recorded in John 8. The incident takes place in the temple court where Jesus is teaching, a group of Pharisees and teachers of the law interrupt this church service by dragging in a woman caught in adultery, adultery takes two, but the woman stands alone before Jesus. John makes its clear that the accusers have less interest in punishing a crime than in setting a trap for Jesus, and quite a clever trap it is. Moses’ law specifies death by stoning for adultery, yet Roman law forbids the Jews from carrying out execution; will Jesus obey Moses or Rome? All eyes fixed on Jesus at that moment Jesus does something unique he bends down and writes on the ground with his finger. John does not tell us what Jesus wrote on the ground. In his movie of the life of Jesus, Cecil B. Demille depicts him spelling out the names of various sins; adultery, murder, pride, greed, lust. Each time Jesus writes a word a few Pharisees file away. Thus in a brilliant stroke Jesus replaces the two assumed categories; self righteous and guilty (sinners who admit their sins and sinners who deny. Far more problematic were people like the Pharisees who denied or repressed guilt, they too needed hands empty for grace. I sincerely believe those who find it hard to forgive others and move on are the ones who cannot forgive themselves when they do wrong. If a person believes in God’s grace they will forgive people and move on. As much as we sometimes try to over look this, but Grace is very vital if you want to work in love.